Here are 5 ways to be a great mother-in-law:

1. Gracefully step aside from your role as the #1 woman in your son’s life. Encourage him to make his wife his first priority. If you expect your son to make you his first priority, his marriage will suffer and he will be in a miserable position of trying to choose between his two favorite women. He is supposed to value his wife’s opinions over yours when it comes to raising the kids, deciding how often to visit, etc. The single most destructive thing you can do is gossip to your son about his wife, so don’t ever put him in the awkward position of having to listen to you criticize her.

2. Treat your son and daughter-in-law as adults on an equal level to you. It’s time for you to let go of your role as a parent and start treating your son and his wife the same way you treat your adult friends. That mindset should significantly affect the way you interact with your them. If you wouldn’t chastise your friends for watching rated “R” movies, drinking beer, dressing provocatively, keeping a cluttered house, or spanking (or not spanking) their children, then don’t reprimand your son or daughter-in-law either. Do you feel entitled to offer unsolicited advice, call at all hours of the day and night, and show up uninvited at your friends’ houses? Would you play a guilt trip on your friends because they didn’t call everyday, visit every week, follow your holiday traditions, name their child after you, or get your birthday card on time? You get my point.

3. Try to see things from their perspective. In today’s hectic lifestyle, it can be tough for a couple to carve out some quality time with each other. By the time they do household chores, balance the checkbook, walk the dog, take the kids to soccer practice, do the taxes, and wash the car, there isn’t much time left for fun. If they get a free weekend every now and then, they may want to go on a date or hang out with friends. From your perspective it may seem like they aren’t visiting you often enough, but if you put yourself in their shoes you will realize they are doing the best they can to juggle many demands on their time. This is especially important to remember over the holidays. They may feel pressured by both sets of parents about where to spend the holidays, and that can take the fun out of everything. You can help minimize the stress on their marriage by being flexible about where and with whom you spend the holidays. Rather than demand that your son and his wife continue your tradition of celebrating Thanksgiving at your house, realize they may want to start their own traditions.

4. Be respectful of their needs. Rather than feeling entitled to call, visit, and offer advice whenever you want because you are “family,” be sensitive to the needs of your son and his wife. Some wives don’t mind if their in-laws drop in unexpectedly, while others would prefer they call first or wait until invited. Some daughters-in-law think it’s fine to receive phone calls early in the morning or late at night, but others prefer calls within certain hours of the day (especially if they have young children or an unusual work schedule). Some women don’t mind if their mothers-in-law offer unsolicited advice about finances, parenting, wardrobe choices, eating habits, etc. (if offered in a respectful manner); however, many prefer to receive advice only after they have asked for it. When grandkids enter the picture, it may be even more tempting to call, visit, and offer advice, so make sure to be even more respectful to the needs of the new parents. You can help by telling them they are great parents, letting them decide when (and for how long) you can visit the new baby, adhering to their parenting decisions, and minimizing competition with the other set of grandparents.

5. Have realistic expectations. You may want your son to move to your neighborhood so you can hug your grandkids anytime you want. You might want your daughter-in-law to address you as “Mom” and spend hours chit-chatting on the phone. If your son and his wife have the same expectations as you do, then that’s wonderful. However, chances are your expectations won’t be the same as theirs. Rather than choosing to be offended when they don’t do what you think they should, realize they just have different preferences than you do. Sure, you might get what you want if you manipulate them with guilt, but then you won’t have a sincere relationship with them. You are responsible for your own happiness, so don’t depend solely on your son and daughter-in-law (or even your grandchildren) to fulfill all of your needs. Spend time with friends, find a hobby, or volunteer to be a Big Sister.

Remember when you first got married? What was your mother-in-law like? Did she gracefully step aside and encourage her son to make you his first priority? Or did she try to make him feel guilty whenever he put your needs above hers? Did she act superior by being controlling, judgmental, and offering unwanted advice? Or did she treat you with respect and offer advice only when you asked for it? Did she try to see things from your perspective, or did she expect you and your husband to revolve your lives around her? Did she feel entitled to call and visit whenever she wanted, or was she respectful of your needs? Was she often offended by your behavior, or was she satisfied with the amount of attention you and your husband could give her? Did she have realistic expectations about your relationship, or did she complain that you were a lousy daughter-in-law?

If you had a great mother-in-law, then I hope you will follow her example. If your mother-in-law wasn’t so great, then make sure you are not like her. You can strengthen your son’s marriage and show how much you love him by being a great mother-in-law.

Jenna D. Barry is the author of “A Wife’s Guide to In-laws: How to Gain Your Husband’s Loyalty Without Killing His Parents.” Married 14 years, Jenna has learned how to gain her husband’s loyalty through communication, persistence, and a whole lot of love. Her articles have been published in newspapers and magazines world-wide. She leads a support group for daughters-in-law and has a website at http://www.WifeGuide.org.

Author: Jenna D. Barry
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

• It would appear to the untrained eye that she may have just been gossiping with other women while she sat freezing on the bleachers during your (softball, baseball, pop Warner football, soccer, basketball…you weren’t an only child you know…) playing years. In actuality, she was on a fact finding mission to help reposition your social standing in the 5th grade.
• No matter how old you were, she always made sure there was a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underneath the Christmas tree. It took a long while for you to figure out that some of the never opened collectibles had repeat performances during some out of stock years.
• And who was that crazy lady that always climbed up the shelves at Toys R Us to grab the Millennium Barbie Dolls? Oh yea, it was her.
• Remember how embarrassed she made you while she muttered out loud about how much she hated the Limited Too while trapped for 45 minutes trying to check out with Limited Too Bucks during their special sales while Britney Spears was blasted all around her. Oops she did it again!
• She stopped two steps shy of prostitution to solicit silent auction items so that your lacrosse team could raise funds for new uniforms
• She requested not one but two meetings with the high school principal and athletic director to complain about the way your lacrosse coach treated you. Nothing was done but years later she got the last laugh when she heard that said coach was arrested for spousal abuse.
• She watched with her heart in her mouth as you ran up and down the lacrosse playing field with no protection save for an eye guard while lacrosse sticks were flailing all around your face.
• Playing with sticks as a child was nothing compared to her watching in horror as you and your saber opponent went after each other with real weapons at your fencing tournaments. If you think about it, what mother in her right mind would allow her kid to fight with swords?
• Even though she harped on you for weeks to get your research paper done and you blew her off, she was the one driving out to Wal-Mart at 9:00pm the night before the paper was due to buy ink for the printer.
• During those lean years of middle school and early high school, whose Mom always had her mini van full of kids driving to and from the mall or movies every weekend, no matter how cold and freezing it was. Remember how she muttered about “Just what do those other women do on Friday and Saturday nights?
• Speaking of mini vans, did you ever hear her complain (well, actually, she always did) about how she longed for a sleek golden Lexus SUV, but was stuck with her Chrysler so that they could save for your college education.
• Who else was going to sit in the front passenger seat when you had your learners permit at age 16? Remember how angry you became with her because she was NOT a silent co-pilot.
• And if you catch her crying while watching Saturday Night Fever on dvd , please keep your comments to yourself. She is in mourning for her lost youth. Yes, she did dress like that and act like that.

Sending a gift or gift basket to your mom, no matter what the occasion, is a simple way that you can tell her you love and respect her, and that you are thankful for everything she did for you.

http://www.shopthegiftbasketstore.com offers over 1000 gifts and gift baskets for every occasion and holiday. Just pick, click and ship.

Author: Suzanne Salzmann
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

You’re always looking for answers in Motherland but you don’t necessarily find them or at least the ones that provide the quick fix that at times you are so desperate to find. It’s a lot about improvisation and fly by the seat of your pants methodology.

I’ve read all the parenting articles and read my way through a book or two. And so far the best advice I’ve gotten is from the tried and true…other parents. I mean if anyone knows what you’re going through it’s another parent.

Every day is an adventure. Every day is a study in human development and interaction. Every day is a lesson in being selfless and what it means to love and be loved.

Every day is an experience, good and bad. I’m still working on the bad days….those tantrum, crying, yelling filled days from a very wanna be independent, strong willed 3 year old. You pick your battles for the day…some things you led slide and others you lay down the law….Mommy style. Some days the time out chair works and other days not so much. What works for one family doesn’t mean it will work for the family next door…it’s all about experimenting and trying different things. Every child is unique…it’s all about finding the right balance.

Ahhhh yes…balance…that’s a juggling act that I’ll be working on for a long time…getting my ass in gear and being organized all while having two little ones who constantly need your undivided attention is the hardest thing I’ve had to do….

I question my parenting abilities every now and then…sometimes it can be overwhelming but those days pale in comparison to most days…when you look at your kids and know that everything you ever wanted is right in front of you and that things are really going to be OK.

I’ve leaned to work on patience…and just breathing and enjoying the moments for what they are…the toys can be put back tomorrow and the laundry room will one day sit empty of dirty clothes….but for today…is it really that dire?

I’ve learned that something as simple as sitting and reading to my two children can be one of the most satisfying things that I could ever do…who knew that a so simple an act could be so rewarding…for both my kids and myself.

I’ve learned that the words…’Mommy I love you so much’…are the most beautiful of six words to ever be spoken….and the hugs and kisses that follow are the true icing on the cake.

And with all that said here are two things that I know will never ever get answered:

1. WHY is it that every time my 3 year old son wears a brand new pair of PJs he wets the bed….?
No really it’s like clockwork…it even happened when he was in diapers….seriously he’s going to wear his current stock of PJs until they are mere shreds of material….because there is nothing I like more than changing and washing sheets at 2:30AM….and even better when it’s in Mommy & Daddy’s bed on Mommy’s side….

2. Fish Crackers….oh Pepperidge Farm you are a blessing and curse all rolled into one…you got my little 1 year old daughter to actually like eating non pureed food with you crunchy fish cracker goodness but no she thinks it counts as an actual food group….breakfast, lunch and dinner….hmmm perhaps the makers of Fish Crackers can create a full veggie, fruit, protein styled cracker…she’ll be eating an entire well balanced meal in the form of a cracker….Pepperidge Farm call me….

So to all the Mommies out there enjoy world of Motherland for what it is a crazy ride full of love and adventures…more than you ever thought possible.

Author: Consuelo Bernardi
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Last week, when we visited her doctor yet again was a prime example. She had a seizure the night before and after a fit she is always hyperexcitable for about a week. This day was no exception. In the play area as we waited for the doctors I was constantly watching over her lest she through a temper tantrum simply because she can not manage her little brain at those times. I got tired of explaining to other parents about her situation…how she cannot control herself right after a seizure. I know that had she been my first child I would have been horribly embarrassed by something that was a medical condition beyond both our controls.

This is what I mean by our children teaching us lessons. It isn’t that I’m the perfect mother. It is that I listen to my heart and my gut about what this particular child needs to give them the best start in life. In our expert ridden society, we forget that WE are the experts on OUR child, if we will only listen to our hearts and them.

Below are my three top picks: common sense things that have proven invaluable to me over the past twenty-three years as a mother.

1) Explore away. We have all heard the expression…kids will be kids. Children learn through all their senses…touch, taste, smell, see and hear. So whether it is grass, dirt or bugs, the risks posed are probably far less than the benefit of exploration and discovery. Stains can usually be washed out…and if not then add those items to the growing collection of play things.

2) Try new things. It is natural to want to protect your children (actually that was the advice I heard from the doctor that day too), but sometimes by watchful waiting we can allow them to develop a sense of accomplishment. My daughter loves to play on the jungle gym meant for her seven year old brother. It is terrifying for me as her mother (especially since I never know when she could have a seizure), but when she succeeds her little face lights up so bright. Hmmm…sometimes parents need to try new things too. When was the last time you did?

3) Listen with your heart. As I said I might perhaps be a tad more aware of just how precious they really are; illness will teach you that lesson very quickly. But these little treasures have so mush to teach us if we will just stop and listen.

Being a parent has never been easy and in these fast-paced, challenging times it is more trying. Yet each day, our children offer us their love, their lives and priceless lessons into their hearts and minds. We have only to slow down long enough to listen and learn.

Terri is the mother of six; 3 caesareans, 2 VBACs and an adoption. She has over fifteen years breastfeeding experience as well as peer supporter training with two organisations. Terri has completed the Childbirth Educator, Birth & Post-partum Doula certificates with Childbirth International. In addition, she also holds a BS in health education from Texas A&M University.

To sign-up for her monthly e-newsletter featuring her latest articles on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and parenting; visit her webiste: Special Start Birth [http://www.specialstartbirth.com/Enquiry_form.html].

Author: Terri O’Neale
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

1. Money. The world is expensive, and most families feel like they can’t make ends meet off a single income. With the cost of taxes, groceries, gas, homes, etc. so high, most families rely on the income mom brings in. The decision to stay home often means a big cut in pay, thus lifestyle. For some, it is not a question of whether the family will eat prime rib or hot dogs, but whether they will eat at all.

2. The balancing act. Many moms want to do both, but often this means spreading themselves so thin that they are not doing either job particularly well. It is difficult to be a good employee when you are worrying about diapers, nap schedules, etc. and it is difficult to be a good mom when you have client meetings, deadlines, and so on.

3. The guilt. Most moms get some satisfaction out of working. It helps them be a contributor to the finances in the family. It allows them to be a career professional, and not just a mommy. However, many moms feel guilty that they enjoy being at work, and are missing out on some of the events and milestones in their child’s life. Many moms worry that a sitter or nanny is raising their children. This causes guilt, and guilt can cause stress.

4. The tedium. Many women have college degrees, and have spent many years in the work force being appreciated for their knowledge and skill. It is very gratifying to feel needed and important in your job. When you stay home as a mom, it is often a thankless job. Your kids do not often show gratitude for the many hours you clean, cook, and care for them. Many husbands do not seem to recognize the amount of time and work it takes to keep the home in order and the kids organized and busy. This can be difficult for a mom who has been in a career where they were appreciated. It can make being a stay at home mom tedious and frustrating.

5. The ostracizing. If you are a working mom, you often find that you and your children get left out of invitations, etc. because you work. If you are a stay at home mom, you feel like working moms do not feel you can relate. Basically there becomes a divide. This can be hard for moms to cross.

Deciding whether to work or stay home, work part time, work full time, or not work at all is a dilemma for many mommies. Some moms think they want to stay home then find that they struggle with the never ending work and non-existent appreciation stay at home moms get. They crave the different fulfillment you get from a job with a paycheck. There is no right or wrong answer to whether or not you should stay home. There are advantages to both. This is a decision you have to make on your own.

Visit http://www.surfnetparents.com for more For more parenting advice and ideas.

Author: Beverly Frank
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

So, if you are male, I hope you don’t become insulted by this idea.

It’s easier to recognize the dark side of either mother. Most of us spend a lot of time labeling and judging each other and things, so, we are more familiar with the dark side of ourselves, in others and things, than the divine light within.

The First Mother

This mother is bossy, domineering, interferes, takes over and is very opinionated. She involves herself in all aspects of your life and anyone’s life that comes within 3 feet of her, from household affairs to affairs of state. She is on time, and considers herself to be a good provider, and always brings her check home.
The dark side of this mother can be recognized by these statements: She says:

• “I could just kill______________for what has happened to me or mine!”
• “I will kill ______if you pursue that_________.”
• “I will die if___________.”

This mothers name is Death Mother. See what I mean? She’s a bloody mother.

Her mirror opposite, her light side, is appreciated by her boss, the Government, the schools, the PTA, the city government, civic organizations; any authoritative body that has the ominous duty of ‘taking care’ of things for us. She pays her taxes on time, attends the PTA meetings and allows herself to be elected to the various offices. She balances her check book, saves the household money, uses coupons while shopping and keeps everything ship-shape. This mother is appreciated by her spouse because they always know what, where, why and how she is doing what she does. She is dependable. The offspring from the marital union are well-fed, well dressed, well educated and on time everyday. The neighbors love this mother because she’s helpful and generous. Friends love this mother because she cares and demonstrates how much.

Her name is Great Nurturing Mother.

The Other Mother

This mother does not eat 3 meals daily – and rarely a hot meal. Nor, does she feed her family on time or bring her paycheck home. She may have kids, but the kids will fend for themselves much of the time. She might be married and the spouse may feel neglected. She can have addictions. The stage is set for later addictions when still a child because her creativity was dishonored in someway during critical learning junctures.

Her dark side can be heard when she utters these words:

• “I’m going crazy.”
• “I must be crazy.”
• “I feel so scattered.”
• “I’m such an airhead!”

Her name is Crazy Woman.

The light side of this mother is the artist, painter, sculptor, poet, writer, actor, comic, entertainer, musician. She is inspired from within and acts on her inspiration to present to the rest of the world her gift of fun, delight and goodwill. Food, housing, shelter, government, is the last thing on this mothers mind except to analyze it, act it out, poke fun at it, sing about it, etc. This mother lives to be in the creative process. She wants to dream, vision and tell stories to inspire you. Creativity provides the life breath for this mother. She is held in high esteem by our society. She gets top billing, is paid very well for her work and strolls down the red carpet like she owns the world.

Her name is Rainbow Mother.

Crazy Woman can be helped – she really wants to demonstrate love to her spouse and her children, and she believes in a stable home environment. If she can get enough support to pursue her creativity, Crazy Woman will subside from the scene and you’ll be blessed with a delightful Rainbow Mother in your very own home.

Death Mother can be helped – she really does want to mind her own business and not interfere or dominate others lives, because, after all, she has plenty to do and she stays busy providing for others everyday of her life. Support Death Mother with appreciation, flowers, dining out and putting her first as much as she puts you first. She will subside and become the mate, parent, friend, sibling you’ve always wanted as the Great Nurturing Mother.

Remember, regardless of your gender, you might see yourself here. If so, take notes and start getting what you want in life. We need you to be the best YOU possible! It takes all of us living on this planet to create heaven on earth.

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Author: Patricia Winston
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Staying home with children does not result in a life of leisure, as some assume. Running a household, managing daily child-related activities, and maintaining sanity are all balls in the air of a very delicate juggling act. If you include managing expenses and trying to start or run a business from home, each adds its own complex dynamic to the mix. The stress of it all begins to weigh heavy. Much is dependent on the stay at home mom and since the mother is home, she feels an even greater responsibility to be validated and prove that she is not merely sitting around watching soap operas all day.

The stress builds from both internal and external forces. Inside, moms may suffer from low self-esteem, exhaustion and perhaps feelings of inadequacy from no longer bringing income into the household. Externally, the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and lack of exercise increase the intensity of the pressure. Each situation is unique in many ways, but there are easy ways to relieve “stay at home mom” stress. Here are some proactive tips.

1. Get out of the house more! Sounds cliche, but no man is an island. Part of the stress mothers encounter comes from being fully immersed in motherhood, forgetting and neglecting womanhood and sisterhood. Friendship and socialization is specific to our nature and should never be ignored. Join or start a mom’s group. (Not just an online or virtual community, but one that meets in person.) Go to a park, the zoo, a mall or a library. Try to get out of the house with the children each day, weather permitting. Learning social skills early on is important for them too.

2. Don’t lose your previous identity. Just because you are a mother-even one that stays home-doesn’t mean that you aren’t you anymore! Children add things to your life: joy, laughter, diapers, tears, heartache, warmth, love and more. Yet you don’t have to stop being yourself entirely to commit to your new role. Perhaps there were a few bad habits you kicked before little Timmy came along, but that’s a positive improvement, not a total identity overhaul. If you used to participate in networking events, go out with girlfriends once or twice a month or play in a band, you don’t have to give those things up entirely. As long as your child is safely being cared for in your absence, feel free to explore your own interests, being careful to not lose your own essence. Since, eventually, you could end up resenting what should be the best time in your life-your being a mother and a well-rounded individual.

3. Seek balance in all areas of your life. Just because you are home doesn’t mean everything in your life has to be about the house, the kids and the hubby. Take time for you, for you and your mate, for you and your kids, for you and your mother, for you and your best friend, etc. See where I’m going with this? It’s okay to enjoy time with others outside the home AND within the home. As long as you seek to enjoy a variety of interests with a support network of close friends and family, you can’t go wrong. But by totally focusing on one aspect over another, both guilt and distress will ensue, making you a very unhappy mommy.

4. Stop neglecting your hair and make up! Stay home moms often let themselves go. Since they may not officially have to leave the house, they don’t change into outer wear, fix their hair or put on make up. (No offense to those that do, but you know who you are if this tip speaks to you.) Why is that? This type of neglect is actually counterproductive. Maybe for the first several days to a week after the new baby comes home, you can let the grooming go for a bit, but don’t give it up all together. Many moms begin to feel depressed and unattractive due to the added baby weight. Don’t make it worse. Spruce yourself up a bit each day; regardless if you have somewhere to go outside of the house or not. Think of each day as a new opportunity or adventure. Would you want to greet opportunity looking like you just rolled out of the bed? Didn’t think so. Take time in the morning for grooming. It really helps to relieve the stress that is tied to low self-esteem.

5. Get to know the stress in your life. Start journaling about circumstances, dates and times that seem to cause you the most stress. Look for patterns and then get help from a stress management professional. Together, you can review the patterns and put them into perspective to help create a plan to reduce or eliminate the extra stress in your life.

Staying home to raise your children during these critical early stages of life is a gift indeed. Don’t allow stress to rob you of the joy. Take action to get your stress under control and start truly enjoying this gift, as these moments are precious and rather fleeting.

Nova Yeoman is a stress management coach and life strategies trainer with Goals That Open Doors. Nova facilitates tele-courses that teach clients stress management techniques and the skill of active goal setting, which dramatically reduces stress and in some cases eliminates it. Life strategies training is also available, providing clients the necessary skills to create success and overcome obstacles in major areas of life. For more information and to sign up for a free stress management newsletter, visit http://www.GoalsThatOpenDoors.com

Author: Nova Yeoman
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

It is a mother’s journey to relinquish control of the responsibility for her child, their well being, their emotions, their jobs, little by little, day by day. With each step in letting go of responsiblitiy, comes the opportunity for connecting to the child a new way.

1. Practice self care. Hopefully your mom has let go of caring for you at this point. Now someone gets to do the job. It’s your turn and what an honor and privilege it is to be the one who gets to be you and take care of you! With a full self care tank, it is easier to be clear on how to manage the tasks of the day, tasks are compeleted efficiently and the enjoyment of even the most mundane task increases.

2. Give yourself a break. Let go of the guilt of “mistakes”. When your child was learning to walk, she fell down, sometimes getting bruises. No one ever reprimanded her for the “mistake”. Offer yourself the same kindness. We are always learning. Now is the time of life to learn parenting, balance and more.

3. Include the kids and spouse in on the chores. Who said “family time” is only about playing games. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping can be quality family time. Remember, it is not about getting it done. Be creative and find a way to enjoy the journey.

4. Find your “enough” valve. When segwaying home from work, allow the transition. Leave work at work. There is little you can do about it now. In fact, putting it to rest is actually doing something about it. It creates a fresh perspective the next day. Then be with your self, your spouse or your children. Know when you have interacted “enough” with each of these categories and allow yourself thoughts of self praise. (They energize you and everyone wins).

5. Listen to your heart. If it is telling you you need help, connection with your spouse, connection with girl friends take care of it.

6. Notice what responsibility you can let go of again. They grow fast! As you teach your kids self care, they are learning life skills that will be solid for your grandchildren.

Patty Jackson, Family and Relationship Life Coach
http://www.PattyJacksonLifeCoach.com

Patty Jackson, Life Coach Trainer
http://www.wisdomoflifecoach.com

Offering coaching classes and certification programs in person and through virtual internet classrooms

Author: Patty L Jackson
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

A few months ago when my husband went out of town my morning routine was changed. I had to get my son ready and take him to my friends house who was baby sitting for me. As I pulled out my complex I realized I left my wallet. I turned around to get my wallet, but now I was left with the dilemma of waking up my baby to run in the house to get my wallet or leave him in the car for just a quick second. Luckily it wasn’t summer time and I said a prayer, ran in the house and ran back out. When I got to my car all I could do was cry because of all of the what if’s that could have happen. I kissed my baby and apologize to him over and over again. So even though my situation wasn’t as detrimental as the others I can certainly understand how changing your routine, and being overwhelmed can cause you to forget.

When I returned back to work I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of my new responsibilities as a mother to a newborn, a working mom, and wife, step mom, and finding time for myself. However, I took some time to really think about what was important and made some changes. Some of the changes that I made that you can do as well are:

* Get the house involved – I sat down with my husband, and stepson and let them know that I need help. I told them what I need from them and asked them what were they willing to do.

* Ask for help – as moms we find it hard to ask for help. Some may feel that asking for help means that you are not a “good” mom. For me asking for help was out of the question. My mom was a single mother to five children. Here I am married with two kids, I should be able to do it all. We must ask for help in order to get it all done

* Take a break – It is very important to find time to nurture yourself. Whether it’s exercise, reading a book, sitting in a quiet area, nurturing your self is very important. You need to maintain your self so you can do all that you have to do

* Slow down – I use to feel as if I was moving so fast. I always had something to do, or somewhere to go, and none of it included anything for me. I finally decided to find ways to slow down and enjoy life. Looking at life through your kids eyes allows you to do that.

These are just a few things that worked for me and helps me from getting overwhelmed. When I tackle on a new project or circumstances happen where life would change, I always go back to a few of this. Slowing down is a very important part of my life as I don’t want life to past me by and I haven’t taken the time to enjoy it. I have decided I need to take a break every three months in order for me to be productive. What are some of the things that you do to keep you from being overwhelmed?

Felicia Pratt Ellis invites you to visit http://www.icompletemeblog.com for honest and entertaining tips for coping with the struggles and frustrations of motherhood and life postpartum. If you need additional guidance please visit http://www.icompletemecoaching.com for more help.

Author: Felicia Pratt Ellis
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

So many moms beat themselves up for not being able to be everything for everyone else.  Many find themselves inching towards depression or a nervous breakdown.  They have forgotten themselves in the middle of the daily shuffle.  Eventually, like all things that wear out without repair, she’ll break.  And so will the lives of those who love and depend on her every day.

How do we stop the breakdown before hit happens?

1. Recognize what’s happening.  Before anything else can be done, you must realize that you are doing too much and wearing yourself down. 

2.  Ask for help.  You must be willing to say “I can’t do it all.”  Asking for help is not a sign of failure.  It’s recognizing a legitimate need and seeking a way to fill that need.

3.  Take time for yourself.  Having “you” time doesn’t make you selfish.  It makes you realistic.  If you continue to neglect yourself, you will begin to dislike yourself and maybe even the family that requires so much of your time.  You have to begin to see your relevance again.

4.  Don’t forget to be a wife.  Remember that before you were a mom, you were a woman.  Find a way to spend some time alone with your husband.  If you can’t get a sitter, then wait until the kids go to sleep and have an “after bedtime” date together.  You can rent a movie, pop popcorn and snuggle together on the couch.  Whatever you do, just find a way to reconnect.

5.  Spend some time with your girlfriends.  Remember how much fun it used to be to just hang with your girls?  Having some girl time could be just the thing you need.  Some of your friends are probably mothers now too, so you can share stories and tips to surviving motherhood, or you can just vent. 

6.  Don’t take yourself so seriously.  Whatever is going on in your life, take some time to have fun.  Living a good life is all about balance.  You need time to laugh and play just as much as you need to go to work or clean the house.  Doing so could even give you the boost you need to take care of your life’s more serious moments.

Motherhood isn’t what is used to be.  The rules have changed so much so that moms today will face scenarios that their moms never did or even considered.  So take the time to do a little mommy maintenance.  It could save you an overhaul later!

Leslie Brooks

Author: Leslie A Brooks
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

You know that wave of overwhelm at the end of the day when you take in the full picture of parenting and you feel like a failure or that there must be something you’re missing because this is so much harder than you imagined. Why does it look like everyone else is adjusting so easily to this life of pretend play, marathon afternoons at parks, and getting used to a low roar from sunrise to sunset?

How wonderful it would be to push the “stop” button on this merry-go-round of mothering for awhile, jump off to sit quietly, alone, close your eyes and take a deep breath and just have some time of reflection, clarity, and respite.

Where can you begin in shifting your experience of mothering from one of hardship and struggle to one of satisfaction and contentment?

1. Acknowledge that mothering is a spiritual task. It requires you to develop your character qualities more than applying an intellectual skill set.

2. Know that the character qualities that are needed to parent well are within you. Some of these qualities may be more developed than others, but all of them are there, lying in potential. You are capable of being gentle, patient, loving, compassionate, confident, self-disciplined, responsible, orderly, joyful, enthusiastic, peaceful, and assertive.

3. Appreciate what you do well. Mothers overwhelm themselves with their failings and their shortcomings, never noticing and praising themselves for the things they do well.

Perhaps you keep an orderly home,
or you’re very creative with your children,
or you have a gift for finding the humor in things each day,
or your children are very secure because of your confidence,
or you are good at following through with consequences rather than threatening,
or you make a mean pancake breakfast,
or you are wonderfully affectionate,
or maybe you have an incredibly loving marriage,
or you find strength in your faith,
or you have found a supportive tribe of mamas,
or you know how to ask for help…

Whatever your gifts, talents, and abilities, however small, give yourself credit. One way to do this for yourself is to see it in another mom. Think of one of your favorite mama friends, call her up and tell her something you love about her. It’s even more powerful when you can attach it to a character quality.

“Jen, I was just thinking about you and thought I would call you up to tell you what a loving friend and mother you are. We don’t tell each other this kind of stuff often enough and it may sound weird, but I want you to know that I see your compassion and hear your kind words toward your kids and it really is great to have you as a friend and role model of those qualities.”

4. Change your attitude. It’s so easy to complain and do a half-ass job at something you find mundane or somehow not fulfilling enough.

Have you become negative about being a mom? Or have you become overly critical of yourself or of your child? Becoming cynical, negative, and jaded about motherhood is very culturally acceptable right now. It’s cool to hate this job.

Somehow it’s believed that if you find any joy in creating a home of rhythm and nourishing yourself and your family through order, healthy meals, and being a primary caregiver than you must be a simple, uneducated, unambitious “housewife.”

Certainly I’m not suggesting that you suddenly exclaim that being a mom or being home is “just the most wonderful thing that has ever happened” to you or even “amazing” or remotely enjoyable at times. It’s about embracing something that is different and that is pulling and pushing at you on a deeper level than you’ve, perhaps, experienced.

Anything in life that poses a challenge is your spiritual work.

But this can be a unique time for you to nurture qualities within yourself that may otherwise have never been developed. It’s a time for you to go inward, to pull closer to yourself, your spouse, your children, your home, your faith.

Perhaps you thought you always knew yourself, knew your talents and skills prior to becoming a mother. I’m suggesting that knowing who you really are, knowing your strengths and your areas of growth, are just now surfacing. Don’t run away from the chance to grow and learn from the process.

5. See each day as practice for staying in the moment. The world today is about the past or about the future, but rarely about the here and now. Being a mom of young children is all about the present.

Sure, you can spend the next 5-7 years remembering the past before you had children or you can spend it thinking about “when you get your life back” and return to work or when the kids are in school full-time.

Or you can take a breath, relax, and be present to the little ones needing you right now. When you read them a story, listen to the words and enjoy it along with them. When you give them a bath, acknowledge that those little legs and arms will be big before you know it. Be in it. Be an active participant of your own mothering experience.

A good mom is not a mom who has found her passion in caring for small children, baking bread, and growing organic basil. A good mom is a woman who has the guts to grow from the journey.

Raelee Peirce is the founder of NobleMother.Com. As a stay-at-home mom of 2 young children, a wife, and an entrepreneur, Raelee has found creative ways to be her children’s primary caregiver and fulfill her ambitious drive to pursue her career as a writer, speaker, and Certified PCI Parent Coach.

Author: Raelee Peirce
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Think about it. How many times have you gone shopping for yourself and came home with nothing for yourself but a few lovely items for your child? How many times have you wanted to go for a pedicure or massage but thought, “No, that costs too much. I’ll wait.” and then 5 mins later you buy something for your child, husband or family that would have either cost the same amount or more than the pedicure you thought you couldn’t afford?

The time has come for moms to stop being a martyr and start giving themselves the treats and experiences that feed their souls, give them energy and leave them with a higher self-esteem. If we really look at our role as a parent, one very important aspect is to teach our children to love themselves (in a healthy way), treat themselves and others with respect and how to live a happy, healthy, balanced life. When moms take time for themselves or treat themselves to a thing or experience they are modelling all of these positive qualities just mentioned.

So, do these experiences or things have to be expensive? Do they have to take a lot of energy and time to plan? No. Simply save up 5 dollars or pounds a month and Voila! There is your treatment! Put the money in a pretty box you make or buy and savour the day when you take that money and cash it in!!! Or, instead of surfing the net for cute kids clothes, take 10 mins a night and search for that perfect bed and breakfast or hotel you’d like to stay in.

Try one of the following ideas and I guarantee you, you’ll want to make this a monthly or yearly habit!

1) If you live in the city, head to the country for a weekend or, if you live in the country, head to the city for the weekend. Hubby, relatives or close friends can help you out with this once or twice a year.

2) Go for a pedicure.

3) Go for a massage.

4) Go for a reflexology treatment.

5) Go to a girlfriend’s house for the weekend.

6) Have a theme party for the girls where everyone brings food related to the theme and even wears an outfit according to the theme!

7) Hire a masseuse to come to your house for 3 hours and invite a bunch of girlfriends over to rotate through the masseuse. When you do this and everyone splits the cost, you end up getting a cheaper massage AND time with the girls!

Buy yourself a new bra or underwear.

9) Buy yourself a nice nightgown.

10) Take a book and go to a cozy coffee shop for a couple of hours.

11) Take a day to browse antique shops – at leisure!

12) Visit a museum and take your time looking at everything YOU want to.

13) Send the kids to relatives or friends for a night, and hubby upstairs or out with his friends, then watch movies all night long and eat whatever it is you want!

14) Dress up really nice and meet a girlfriend for a drink at a fancy hotel bar.

15) Find a club that plays 80′s music and go dancing all night long with some girlfriends – usually entrance is free and if you only drink water or soda, they’re usually free too!

16) Go to the library and look at all the books you like. Or, sit down and read some of the magazines that the library subscribes to – now that’s a money saver!

The list is endless. You can relax or let loose – the fact is, that you will be taking care of yourself… valuing yourself…modeling great things for your children, and THAT is what counts.

Take one idea and plan it NOW. You’ll wish you did this a long time ago.

Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life.

You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at http://www.erinparenting.com. You’ll receive a free video series entitled, “The 8 Secrets of Stress-Free Parenting” when you sign up!

Author: Erin A. Kurt
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Child custody laws were started to make sure that the children are cared for after the parents decide to separate. There are laws about the parents spending time with the children, who is responsible for making big decisions, and how the children will be cared for financially. Child custody rights stemmed from the idea that parents have the right to have a say in their child’s upbringing and to be involved in the child’s life.

Does a mother have more custody rights than the father? The answer is no. Both parents have equal child custody rights to their children. And, despite what people sometimes mean when they say child custody, the child custody rights refer to the fact that the parents have the right to raise and see their children. They could also be called child custody responsibilities because the parents are obligated to provide and care for their children after a divorce.

Both the father and mother have the custody right to see their children and to help raise them. Neither parent should really try to block the other parent out of the child’s life, unless there is a history of abuse and the contact is detrimental to the child’s health. Unfortunately, a child custody case can become a fight between the parents about their rights while completely ignoring the responsibility of coming up with the best arrangements for the child.

Mothers can protect their own and their children’s rights in a custody proceeding. The first way to do this is to approach the father and try to work out a custody agreement. The mother needs to be willing to understand that the father is going to be involved with the children. The parents should make a custody and visitation schedule based on what is best for the child. They can also work at developing a parenting partnership with the other parent and try to put the other issues between them aside (this is difficult, and parents may need to make rules about only communicating about the children).

If the father of the children doesn’t want anything to do with the kids and is avoiding responsibility, the mother should still file for child custody and child support. She needs to take the case to court and get the support payments legalized and also explain the judge how the father isn’t involved. If the father still refuses to pay, the mother should go back to court. Almost every state will garnish the father’s wages for child support.

If a mother is on guard, she can make sure that everyone’s rights are upheld in a custody case. She can look after herself and her children, and she can make the mature choice to involve the father for the sake of the children. This is a benefit to her and the kids.

Discover how Custody X Change can help you protect your mother’s child custody rights and find out more information about child custody rights in your area.

Author: Abigail Vernon
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

The Leachco cuddle U pillow and more pillows of the same kind is a boon to the nursing mothers. The most integral part of motherhood is breast feeding the kid. The posture and the position in which the mother holds the infant determines the comfort level of the baby while he is taking the feed. The more comfortable the infant would feed better would be the breast feeding process. But again, it gets difficult for the mother to continuously hold the baby that way. As after a point in time she would not be able to hold the baby in the right posture, the arms and the shoulders would give up on her. Hence, these nursing pillows came into existence.

If you have any idea about baby care you definitely would know about the nursing pillows. These defiantly make a great contribution to the development of the infant, by making sure that the kid is at a very comfortable posture while he is taking the feed. There are a variety of nursing pillows available that you could choose from. All these would have something or the other additional to offer over and above the comfort of the right posture while the baby is breast feed. The Leachco cuddle pillow and more products that they have, provides excellent support for the baby not only at the time of the baby being breast feed but while he is off it as well.

The Cuddle U pillows are play time and sit up support system in form of a pillow. These are actually understood as the safety seats for your infant that would provide him with all the comfort that is required. What makes this different from the others of the same kind it is the soft seat up wraps which is two way. This ensures that the baby is all secure while he is sitting in this. And you don’t have to worry about the spills as the pillow comes with the washable cover, ensuring the pillow remains clean and you wouldn’t need to pay for the dry cleaning. These are so comfortable that the baby would not realize that he is not in the arms of the mother and the mother would be satisfied that the baby is comfortable and safe despite not being in her arms with the Leachco cuddle U pillow and more baby products that they offer.

For more information about leachco cuddle u nursing pillow and more check out http://www.nursing-pillow.info/cuddle-u-nursing-pillow.html and for boppy nursing pillow check out Boppy Nursing Pillow Cover

Author: Alok Kumar
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

So occasionally, as happened this morning, through a series of circumstances, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities I am reduced to an incoherent blubbering heap. I have two freshly minted teenagers, and no matter how much experience I have with this single-mom lifestyle, there is always another experience just around the bend to remind me that I am an imperfect parent.

It began with my eighth grade daughter’s volleyball game, which they were playing on home turf. In the days leading up to the game I was excited that I would finally get to see my girl, who is very tall, athletic, and perfectly suited for the game, and her team take on an opponent.

When the day arrived I reminded her as she left the house that I would be there.

By 3:30 PM the priorities of the day had completely blocked my memory of the game, and I remembered as I was headed back home from a last-minute appointment with a client at about the same time the third round was coming to an end.

Final score: Mom, 0.

Back-to-school is always stressful for the kids even though they look forward to it, but this year the stress seems worse as my son entered high school. He has been moody, quick to anger, and his mother is not someone he wants to talk to. Needless to say, as much as I try to disconnect myself from his moods, it is unavoidable that my motherly compassion kicks in, and my general well-being is compromised. So the wall-pounding rage, defiance, and slamming doors leave me wondering what I’ve done wrong and what it is I’m supposed to do. Did I mention that both kids are considerably taller than I?

My attempts to assert authority and set boundaries never go unchallenged, and so it was with the cell phones. After discovering that my daughter is sending text messages at the rate of 450 to 700 per day, I set a rule in the household that there would be no text messaging after 9:00 PM. For this I faced repeated accusations of “you hate me!” and vitriolic spewing of “I hate you!” Knowing, however, that I have to stand my ground for their sake, I did not waver on the rule: On school nights, the phones are off and charging at 9:00 PM.

That lasted one week. Rather than demand the phones be surrendered and charging on the kitchen counter, I informed my daughter that text messages discovered sent after the prescribed time on a school night would net her a punishment of one week with no texting, at all. This she acknowledged rather placidly, because like most imperfect parents, I forget to follow through. This she knows.

Vowing to correct my lack of follow-through, I repeated the rule and warned her a few short days ago that I planned to check with our wireless carrier. She didn’t blink.

So I’m on the phone with technical support, and to my surprise they inform me that not only has she been sending messages after hours, but just the night before she was still texting after one in the morning. Worse yet, she has sent messages during class time, i.e. the last message sent was at 10:23 AM. My parental follow-through instincts kicked in, her text messaging was immediately disabled, and I called the middle school, where they promptly confiscated her cell phone.

It did not occur to me that the carrier’s call log is recorded in Central time fully two hours removed from our local Pacific time, i.e. her last text message was actually sent at 8:23 AM as she was getting off the school bus, a fact that I confirmed 12 hours later as the verbal confrontation with my daughter (she yelling at me) continued deep into the evening. This left her guilty of after-hours texting the night before and me apologizing profusely for getting her in trouble at school.

So to get back to that blubbering heap this morning, there is a straw that ultimately breaks the camel’s back or in this case a mother’s composure. My daughter left for the bus with another loud pronouncement of “I hate you!” (door slam – issue unrelated to the cell phone), right after I realized that I had missed my son’s live radio interview fully by five minutes. When he called me afterward to ask if I had listened, the tears bubbled up. There was nothing I could do but apologize and regret and blubber.

It seems the older and more independent they become, the more I question my motherhood. Even as I acknowledge that the very fact of their independence and successes in school and extracurricular activities is a solid indicator of good upbringing, I am saddened that I could not do better. Saddened, too, that there is so little time left before they head out on their own. As stressful as these times can be, I don’t want them to end. Every missed event is irretrievable. After all these years it is suddenly crystal clear why mothers are the invariably the ones crying at confirmations, graduations, weddings, births; and because they are crying, all is right with the world.

I am mother, therefore I blubber. All is as it should be.

Jane L. Dunkin
Corner Office Northwest Virtual Assistant Services LLC
http://www.cornerofficenorthwest.com

Author: Jane Dunkin
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Maybe I have spoiled him by always sharing my food with him in the past, but I am not the only one who does it. His father and sister have both succumb to the mooching and end up having to split their food and drinks with him. He’s a big eater who never seems to ever get full so he seems to be always eating. He’s not overweight either so I have no idea where he puts it all. I wish I could eat like him and stay skinny. Now all I have to do is just look at a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I gain 5 pounds.

Feeding him off of my plate isn’t as near as bad as sharing a water bottle though. When we go out somewhere I always bring a water bottle since both he and I drink a lot of water. I know I should bring separate bottles, but it’s all I can do to remember to fill one up and take it with us. The problem with sharing the water bottle is his method of drinking. Little kids tend to “backflush” when they drink. This deposits whatever is still in their mouth, in his case the last three bites of food, back into the drink. So when you take your drink you see little pieces of food floating in the bottle. Not pretty I know. It’s amazing how before my little one came along, I would have been disgusted, poured it out, washed and sterilized it before drinking from it again. I may have even thrown the bottle away. Now, however, I just shrug and drink it down. Sick, isn’t it. I’m certainly not going to go thirsty just because my toddler decided to share back the food I shared with him.

Hey life with kids is messy and it’s all part of the deal. I can’t say that drinking “chunky” water is something you ever get entirely used to, but it’s something I bet you’ll miss years down the road. As time goes by and the image of that little mouth drinking from the same cup you are is a memory you will later treasure and will want back again I’m sure. Or maybe not.

Julie is a freelance writer who writes on a variety of subjects in her blog I’m Not A Supermom at http://imnotasupermom.blogspot.com/. Subjects can include, but not limited to: Mom Tips, Money Saving Tips, Health & Wellness Tips, Horse Tips, Drag Racing Tips and more. This assorted fruit type blog has a little something for most everyone.

Author: Julie McKee
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Most parents can relate. We are in demand at all times and the beckoning sounds like a broken record. Kids are impatient, time consuming and even annoying with their demands. Some evenings, I swear I’ll scream if I hear the word “mom” one more time.

But, the reality is that I am “mom” and it’s a term of endearment that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

As mom, mommy, or mum, we rarely have any time to ourselves. Our days are spent catering to the needs of our children – transporting to and from lessons and practices, scouring our brains while attempting to help with math homework, and frantically searching for lost socks and school permission slips that disappear.

In the midst of the rush of it all, I find that I rarely have a moment to just sit and think about myself. I call for Calgon and I whine about how tired I am, but ironically, when I do have a moment to myself, what I end up doing is thinking about my kids.

I think about how much I enjoy watching my son’s face when he completes a Lego construction and how he makes me laugh with his one-liners; I think about how my daughter’s smiles and hugs are better than anything else in the world; and I think about how my life would be incomplete without that one little word ringing throughout the house… M-O-M.

As much as I want to shun the word at times when I feel pulled in 10 different directions, I realize that it is truly music to my ears. I’m mom, mommy, mum, and ma – and that’s who I always want to be.

Shannon Philpott, a mom of two tweens, has been a professional newspaper reporter, published freelance magazine writer, and experienced SEO copywriter for 10+ years. She also teaches both college journalism and English in St. Louis, MO, and maintains a blog about writing, reflecting, and teaching at http://www.shannonphilpott.com.

Author: Shannon Philpott
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

For some stay-at-home mothers who previously worked, having a career is strongly tied in with achievement and success. With this in mind such women fear being criticized and will not divulge to other parents that they find it more gratifying to work, earn money and acquire status in a company than stay at home and raise children. Whilst many would have a problem with this, we have to acknowledge that there is a fine line between raising children and having something that is uniquely ours which raises our self esteem, self worth and identity. So with this in mind, who cares for mothers? And how can you value yourself so that you are at your best to care for your family?

When examining your roles, do you feel unable to discard them and just be yourself at any time? Do you find it difficult to relax as you’re always thinking about what you should be doing next? Do you feel as though you have no ‘me’ time? And if you had, you simply would not know what to do with it?

Do you set yourself tasks each day which you cannot complete due to lack of time? Do you feel stressed and miserable if you don’t get things done? Or do you feel unable to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do or have no time for?

On a particular day last week, I had planned to take my child to two children’s activities in separate locations. I thought one of the activities might be overpriced, plus it was held in a different part of town to the other activity which meant going out of my way to drive there. In my mind it was important that my child had fun and played, however just getting ready to visit these two places could be stressful without adequate time to organise ourselves before departing. In the end, I reflected and decided that we would visit only one place therefore I would not need to rush and my child would still have a good time at one of the children’s centres.

Pausing for a moment, I allowed myself to assess my situation and realise that I was taking on too much trying to please my child who didn’t really care where we went so long as she had a good time.

With this in mind, are there any instances where you find yourself doing too much? Could you put some tasks off till another day? Could some activities be eliminated or reduced to take stress off you?

In order to help you re-claim your identity and sense of ‘self’:

o Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’. In order to preserve your sanity, say ‘no’ to unrealistic demands and people. Say ‘no’ to intolerable stress by re-prioritizing the things that are important to you and delegating, or leaving aside things that can wait.

o Before going to bed – allow yourself time to turn the tv off or stop whatever task is consuming you and re-claim this time before going to bed. Consider what have you always enjoyed doing but haven’t the time for such as reading, writing, meditation? Use this as de-stress and unwind time. The kids should be in bed so concentrate on ‘you’

o Keep it simple – you’re task rich but time poor. Meaning you have endless tasks that continue on a daily basis such as washing up, house chores, taking the kids to activities etc. Of the things on your to-do list single out 4-5 major tasks that are essential and get them done as a priority. Anything else slot onto different days and attribute them a priority ranking, i.E. 1, 2, 3 or a, b, c etc. Don’t overload yourself with tasks or stress.

o consider what you did to re-charge your batteries before you had children and plan how you can do this again. You may not be able to do it as frequently as you did before you had children but you do need to have fun and to lighten up. For me, it’s meeting up for a girly night out or going to a bar with my partner. Admittedly, due to money and babysitting constraints this does not occur often but when it does I feel like i’m more relaxed, strangely liberated and refreshed enough to deal with whatever presents itself the next day. My batteries have been recharged as I have re-claimed a little of my ‘old self’.

If this article has struck a chord and you feel as though you are either overwhelmed by your present situation, or that you need further help with re-claiming your identity then please contact me for a non obligation free telephone conversation. Sometimes it’s nice to talk with someone who genuinely understands.

Samantha is a Certfied Life Coach specialising in parental coaching, as well as offering generic coaching. To find out more about her services and to take adhavtage of a FREE No-obligation Consultatio, please view http://www.positive-vision.co.uk.

Author: Samantha Elutilo
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

#1: The “If…Then” Threat

You know this one. You hear it every time you walk into the toy store or make a trip to a playground. It’s the old, “If you do this, then I’m going to do that.” It could be if that child doesn’t get off the swing, he is going to get a spanking, or if she talks back one more time, she’s going to be grounded. Whatever form it takes, the threat remains the same. And it doesn’t work because the “then” usually far outweighs the “if.” For example, I’ve been guilty of this several times. One time I was so mad at my daughter that I told her if she didn’t clean her room by the end of the day, she would be grounded from going out, using her cell phone, and getting on the computer for two weeks. (Yeah, I was just a bit angry). The result? I had to give in because she needed to use the computer for school and had to take her phone to use for practice after school. The “if…then” threat never works because it’s a desperate reaction and you don’t have time to think it through.

#2: The 1-2-3 Threat

This is the behavior countdown that I see so many moms do. A child is misbehaving, so the mom tells the child to stop. The child doesn’t stop, so the mom begins counting. When she gets to number three, one of two things occurs. The child’s misbehavior stops, and she learns that misbehavior is acceptable to a certain, undefined level. Or the misbehavior doesn’t stop and the mom usually repeats herself, teaching nothing constructive in the process. Instead of counting, tell your child what you expect of him and apply consequences if necessary. If you child is very young, he may need help to follow through. For example, if he needs to put a toy down, explain why (we have to leave, someone else wants to play with it, etc.). If he refuses, take it away. No cajoling, no threatening, no drama.

#3 The “I’m leaving you” Threat

This threat is just, plain cruel. When your child doesn’t want to leave a place, it simply means he is intrigued by something. Try to be understanding. Explain why you must leave, give him some incentive to leave, or even pick him up and carry him out; but don’t ever resort to telling him that you are going to leave him. First, it is dishonest. Even though you may feel like doing it sometimes, you would never leave your child. Second, this threat uses fear to shape behavior, and it’s fear of the worst kind-a fear of abandonment. Your job as a mother is to impart security and trust, never fear. Make transition easier on children by giving them a warning signal. Always give them “one more” of something, even before they get a chance to argue. At the playground, let them pick two more activities before you leave. At the pool, let them jump off the diving board three more times. At Chuck E. Cheese’s, give them ten more minutes. By preparing them, you are paving the way for a smooth exit. It’s like the yellow light before the inevitable red.

Remember, threats are for moms who can’t think of anything better. We are smarter than that and our job is to intelligently shape our children’s behavior and teach them responsibility. Allow consequences, enforce discipline, but never, ever threaten.

Hannah Keeley is the founder of [http://www.totalmom.com] and the mother of seven kids. She is the author of “Hannah’s Art of Home” and “Hannah Keeley’s Total Mom Makeover,” and has appeared on the Today show, Fox and Friends, and the Rachael Ray show.

Author: Hannah Keeley
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

And then one day, you saw those magic lines on the pregnancy test, which is where it all began. And then the baby was born. And then life became a bit more challenging. And then, one day you looked in the mirror and were a bit, um, surprised.

When did this happen?

It happens to the best of us. For me, that first trimester was enough to make me forget caring about makeup or looking nice at all. If I felt this bad, who cared what I looked like? Of course I only became worse when my daughter was born. When you aren’t sleeping, and you are covered in spit up, how can you possibly care about looking cute? I just wanted to survive.

Four and a half years after it all began, I find myself recognizing the person in the mirror again. I may have had two kids, but I still feel pretty good about myself when I walk out the door. It’s been a long road to get to this point though, and I’ve learned a lot along the way.

Here are 21 simple ways, from pregnancy on, that you can look and feel like you again – not just “a mom.”

1. If you’re having a rough first trimester, remember that taking care of yourself will help you feel better. Even if you are sick as a dog in the beginning, try to take a shower and put on some makeup. Yes, if you had the flu you would lay around in sweats and forget about washing your hair. But this is a flu that won’t go away in a few days, so do what you can to hang in there. Even if you don’t feel like yourself, looking like yourself (instead of the sick, worn out version of you) will help.

2. Don’t be too cheap when it comes to maternity clothes. Don’t get me wrong – I love a good deal. I also love borrowing clothes from girlfriends, and I’ll lend my maternity collection to my friends gladly. What I mean is that you should not be cheap in the sense that you just stop caring. If you need to buy clothes, don’t feel guilty about buying something nice instead of the funky stuff on the clearance rack. Yes, you’ll wear it for a shorter time than your regular clothes, but it’s important over the next few months that you still feel good about yourself. Enough is changing; don’t let your style change drastically as well.

3. Pedicures are awesome. You can’t reach your feet anyways, so go ahead and waddle on down to the salon. If you prefer to save a buck, I suggest Wal-Mart. The pedicures I’ve gotten there have been awesome, and they are a fraction of the price you’d pay at your haircutter.

4. Do not chop off your hair. Yes, pixie cuts are in style, but wait until after the baby is born if you really want one. Remember that pregnant women tend to be emotional, so avoid making drastic decisions like cutting your hair short while you are pregnant. Your body is changing every day, so keeping your hair the same may help you feel more in touch with your old self. Now is not the time for a big change – you have one coming on your due date.

5. Highlight the great parts of pregnancy. Along with pregnancy comes thicker hair, nails that grow faster, and the need for a bigger bra. Highlight your best features and focus on the things that are nice little side effects, rather than dwelling on your ever increasing belly or your swollen ankles.

6. Try to keep good posture. I don’t mean to sound like your mother here, but it’s worth the risk. You’ll be tempted to lean over, slouch, etc. With a huge baby belly, it’s only natural. Sitting up straight will do you a world of good and will not only make you look better, but it will help you feel more confident and attractive.

7. Stay active while you are pregnant. Don’t exercise because you want to somehow slow your weight gain, but do it to feel good. Try prenatal yoga, prenatal Pilates, or walking. Some of you may be exercise buffs who still jog around the block when you’re nine months pregnant, but I know that I struggled with staying fit when I was pregnant. I didn’t want to do very much physically, but when I did manage to exercise I felt great. Even if I looked the same to the rest of the world, I felt much more like myself after a good brisk walk.

8. Take advantage of the fact that most people find pregnant women adorable. The cards are already stacked in your favor, believe it or not. Even if you feel like a planet, most people think you’re cute as a button. Remember this, and feel encouraged.

9. Once the baby is born, invest in attractive nursing bras. Gone are the days when nursing bras were these huge, white, scary looking contraptions that made husbands run away screaming. Plenty of stores carry nursing bras in black or in various patterns (leopard, polka dots, etc.).

10. Just because you are still carrying baby weight doesn’t mean you have to give up. Don’t say to yourself, “I’ll get some new clothes when I lose the weight… these sweats will do for now.” I was tempted to do that, but I felt so down about my post-baby body that I wanted to do something to feel stylish again. Hit the clearance racks, or borrow clothes from a friend if nothing else fits. Dressing like “you” again will help encourage you to get back to your normal self, rather than getting stuck in a post-partum rut.

11. Don’t feel bad if you still need to wear your maternity clothes. A lot of women I talk to feel embarrassed about wearing maternity clothes after their baby is born. Don’t be. It’s part of life, and everyone has been there. I was in maternity clothes for what felt like forever after my second daughter was born. If the choice is between maternity jeans and pajama bottoms when you’re leaving the house, just put your jeans on. If your shirt is long enough, no one will even notice that they’re maternity clothes.

12. Shower every day. Even if it’s hard, find the time somewhere. It is way too easy to say, “I’ll shower tomorrow,” and then tomorrow stretches into an embarrassing amount of time. I know that being up all night with a baby makes the days blur into each other, but getting a shower each day will help you stay sane.

13. Enjoy wearing jewelry before your baby learns to grab it. Wearing earrings or a cute necklace is an easy way to look like you took some time getting ready, even if it only took an extra ten seconds to throw it on.

14. If you can swing it, get highlights in your hair. When my second daughter was about six weeks old, my husband took her for a couple of hours so I could go and get my hair highlighted. I didn’t do anything drastic, but some warm brown tones in my hair made me feel like I had lost ten pounds.

15. Go for walks. I felt ridiculously frumpy after my second delivery. I still had a “baby belly” (minus the baby inside), my clothes weren’t even close to fitting me, and I felt too exhausted to shower most days. Going for long walks with my neighbor several times a week was the absolute best thing I could have done. I was out of the house, getting fresh air and exercise, and forced to take a shower afterwards.

16. Make sure you have at least one friend who does not have kids. This may seem very random, but it’s good for perspective. Going out for dessert or drinks with a girlfriend who is in a different stage of life than you will remind you of the wide world around you, and it helps to keep you balanced.

17. It’s just as easy to slip on casual heels or cute flats as it is to wear flip-flops. I wore my favorite wedge heels to a pediatrician appointment the other day, and the nurse noted that I was “dressed up” for a stay-at-home-mom. Her compliment made my day, and it also surprised me a bit. Honestly, I was rushing out the door that morning, and slipping on my wedge heels was faster than having to tie sneakers!

18. Try wearing your hair a different way each day to vary it up a bit. I don’t mean anything fancy or time consuming, either. My hairdresser fusses at me when I confess that I’ve been wearing my hair in a ponytail for a month, so I try to limit my ponytail days (although I have my hair in a ponytail as I’m writing this). The key is to feel like you have some sort of variety in your life. I tend to rotate between wearing my hair down, half back with a clip, or in a ponytail. All three are effortless, but doing something different each day makes me feel like I look more stylish for some reason.

19. Keep a travel-sized perfume in your purse or diaper bag. My favorite is “Amazing Grace” by Philosophy, and I keep a tiny little bottle of the eau de toilette in my purse. It’s so easy to just spray it on before I head to a friend’s house, dinner with my husband, or even a trip to Target. Why not smell nice if it’s easy enough?

20. Dress your age. I see plenty of women out there who are either dressing too young for their age, or too old for their age. Remember that even though you’re a mom, you (a) don’t have to prove anything to anyone regarding “looking young,” and (b) you don’t need to throw in the towel and dress like “a mom” should dress. I’m 28, so I dress like I’m 28.

21. Find an exercise routine you enjoy, and stick with it. Even if you’ve lost the baby weight, it’s still important to find something to do for yourself that keeps you feeling good. I’m a big fan of Pilates, and I always feel stronger, lighter, and more confident afterwards. When your days are spent taking care of other people, remember that it’s important to find the time to take care of yourself as well.

Being a mom is awesome. I absolutely love it, and wouldn’t trade it for the world. It can certainly be rough though, and one of the tough things about it is feeling like you’ve lost yourself. Just a few of these simple tips could make a world of difference between feeling like yourself again, and feeling like you’re “just a mom.” Trust me, it feels good to look at your reflection in the mirror and recognize yourself again.

Grace Genda is the editor and founder of The Mom’s Cheat Sheet. For more articles on pregnancy, parenting, and making your life easier, visit [http://www.momscheatsheet.com]

Author: Grace Genda
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

You can not.

When you are a Mom, you should expect life to pick up speed. From birth on, children have an uncanny ability to gobble up time so that it seems there is never enough hours in the day.

Whether you are a stay at home mom or a mom that works outside the home, you are a working mother. In fact, the term ‘working mother’ is redundant. As mothers, we are sometimes torn between what we need to be doing and what we would like to be doing. While we are breaking up backseat squabbles, we would like to be sharing in our childrens’ day. While we are grabbing groceries, we would like to be reading a book with our kids.

But between dishes, laundry, cleaning, shopping, preparing meals, doctor appointments, paying bills, piano lessons, soccer games and every other thing you have to do, it is sometimes difficult to find time to squeeze in those positive parenting moments.

Then somehow, before you know it, your biggest investment, your children, are speaking back to you, having temper tantrums, and you find yourself doing all those things you promised you would NEVER do – behave like YOUR mom, bribe, blame, yell, and possibly even hit!

We know firsthand how crazy the day can get, and how easy it is to end up missing out on those important bonding moments with our children.

There are many ideas, tips, and stories you can hear from others to help you manage your time better with your children, enjoy guilt-free parenting and end up with some great kids.

Sometimes parenting really is about having the correct solution… if you eventually have enough solutions, their underlying concepts will start to seep in, until it becomes natural. This has been my personal experience!

Andrea Yager contributes to Free Reports on Anti Aging, Weight Loss, Time Management, and Parenting located at http://busydiva.com/index.php.

Author: Andrea Yager
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

As a mother your responsibilities are boundless. But with the everyday job of taking care of your kids, house, and work, you occasionally neglect to take care of yourself. Motherhood does not have to be a stressful task. There are ways to relieve that everyday stress you are currently experiencing.

Time is something mothers do not have. Whether you admit it or not you often wish to have more time to relax yourself. This can be done without having to go out just to relieve the stress. How? By learning to meditate you can help relax yourself. It may sound simple and ordinary but meditation works.

Let’s be realistic, time is everything, and these is somewhat you cannot have without neglecting your kids, house chore or husband, must especially if you are also working at the same time. With a simple meditation you can now enjoy a stress free life.

A few second or hours a day can do wonders to your nervous tension. It will take away the stress instantly, without wasting precious hours you could use to take care of your family. Particularly, your husband whom you must ensure gets plenty of attention. Or else, you will have another situation that could double the stress you are experiencing every day.

Learning how to meditate is your only solution right now! The second option you have is to let go of your job. Are you ready to do that? Meditation is the key in reducing the level of stress in your life. Do not ignore the warning signs that keep popping into your head, take care of yourself properly because no one else will do it for you.

You can always do something to take away the stress. It is a matter of choosing the right method that could fit into your lifestyle without sacrificing anything in return. Coping with stress everyday will eventually wear you out.

Meditation will help you cope with the stress of taking care of your household tasks; it could also relax yourself giving you a better attitude and a healthy lifestyle.

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Author: Irsan Komarga
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Look for duvets that are 100% cotton and fully reversible to a solid color so that you can extend time between cleanings. Try to find machine washable covers so that you can skip those expensive trips to the dry cleaner. Duvet covers are easy to replace and remove. Consider buying at least two or three of our Children duvets in different colors and styles. Having more than one kids duvet cover allows you to switch covers as frequently as you and your child wish.

You can easily change the whole look of your child’s room easily by switching from one kids duvet to another. Simply change your child’s current duvet to one with a theme that particularly piques your child’s interest. Doing so will rekindle your child’s imagination and recapture the joy that your child used to feel in going to bed at night. Because 100% cotton duvets are affordable and easy to care for, they allow you the freedom to change your child’s bedroom dcor to match your child’s changing interests without spending a lot of time or money.

Make sure that you choose a kids duvet appropriate to your child’s age, gender, and interests. Young children love colorful pastel and neon duvets in colors such as Strawberry Cordial Pink and Taffy Candy. Older children can express their newfound maturity with the more sober colors and patterns of Hilton Head and Tartan Red duvet covers. Spark your child’s interest in nature and animals with a cover that has an African Safari theme. Encourage a budding athlete with a Soccer World or Grand Slam cover. A Jurassic Dinosaur duvet cover will nurture a love for science. Remember that a child duvet can do more than keep your child warm at night. They can also stimulate your child’s curiosity and imagination.

Debra grew up in Lorman, Mississippi. She attended Alcorn State University and received a Bachelor of Science Degree in Industrial Technology with a minor in Drafting Technology. She is the owner of Childduvets.com an online business. To learn more, visit http://www.Childduvets.com or email at Info@childduvets.com. Copyright: If you copy this article please credit Debra Dee as author.

Author: Debra Dee
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Fall is a great time to collect leaves. In the cooler climates they come in vibrant colors. In more moderate climates they are in beautiful muted colors. They are like little gems that call to our attention. Let your kids collect as many colors and shapes as they can find and then display them in a glass covered box or glued onto a piece of poster board. They can create pictures made of leaves, a collage of colors and shapes or identify them by the trees they came from. Let them use their creativity and do whatever comes into their minds. This is intended to be fun.

You can also challenge you kids to create as many things as they can think of with a leaf or a bunch of leaves. I have seen kids make angels, people, tents, houses, villages, etchings – there is no end to their imaginations once they get started. It is great fun and it challenges both sides of their brains as they create and build.

Another great natural art supply is pine cones, seeds and nuts from the trees in your yard or in the park. Have the kids gather all they can find. You can even take a nature walk with them to give them a chance to get a good variety. Some of their collection can be made into great fall, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations. We have all seen turkeys made of pine cones and kissing balls made of gum tree balls. Some of these decorations can even be spray painted. Encourage your kids to make animals, people, 3-D pictures, toys, etc. Again they are only limited by their imagination.

Get their creativity going and have a great time crafting!

Lynn Banis PhD, MCC is known as America’s High Performance Coach. She specializes in helping women. executives and entrepreneurs make the most of their opportunities and potential. Her years of working with small and large businesses has given her a depth of knowledge that is invaluable to her clients. You can reach her at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com or at her email address listed on the site. Also check out Lynn’s other businesses: Coach Academy Texas, a cutting edge coach training company; and Turnkey Coaching Solutions, a coaching program management and contract coach staffing company.

Lynn’ coaching membership site is at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com/blog2 Come check it out!

Author: Lynn Banis
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Feeling like you give your children the attention they need and deserve is challenging enough for any parent with active lives, let alone for busy working mums. If you have before and after school care, it is easy to feel distant from your child’s day at school and the events that may have happened. Especially, if you have boys who are reluctant to say ‘hello’, let alone tell you the highlights of their day..

Here are some thoughts to help ensure that you, as a working mother, can decrease the guilt and spend some extra quality time with your children..

1. Quality not quantity. Remember that the time of non-working mums is not necessarily made up of the bliss of indulgent parenting we can otherwise be made to believe… Often spending more time with children can lead to an under appreciation of that time. TV can be more of the equation that sitting reading especially as the household chores build up. Counter intuitively perhaps, when working mums spend less time with their children, the time becomes more valued and more focused.

2. Make mealtimes count. Switch off the phone and leave the mess in the kitchen until later. Sit down at the table with your children during their meal times, even if you aren’t necessarily eating with them. Introduce conversational themes and habits, such as everyone sitting at the table discussing things that have happened during the day or within that week. Just being there to listen is all a child craves and will provide them with the self-confidence and belief that their views matter.

3. One on One. If you have more than one child, attempt occasionally to spend time with them individually, doing activities that are special and appropriate to them. Although spending time as a whole family is critical at weekends, it can, once in a while, be seen as the perfect opportunity to divide and conquer. Attention that is given to age appropriate activities is seen as a true treat when the usual family focus tends to be geared to the lowest common denominator – the youngest sibling.

4. Plan in fun. Yes the post is waiting for you when you walk through the door, as are myriad other chores but take a deep breath, take off your coat and go and have five minutes of fun with the kids. Whether it’s a game of chase or a relaxing board game, you will be astonished at how quickly the stresses of the day seem to fall away as you regress to childhood… Just think – not only are the kids enjoying their time with you, you are lowering your blood pressure at the same time!

With these tips in effect, you are sure to begin feeling like your kids are getting the attention they deserve.

Practical help is at hand for working mums who yearn for MORE time, balance and ease with LESS guilt, stress and exhaustion. Amanda Alexander PCC, author of this article, has written a FREE eBook for working mums in need of inspiration: “From Chaos to Calm: 5 Simple Steps to Balance for Working Mums” will help you with the juggling act! Get it now! Coaching Mums

Author: Amanda Alexander
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

But we tend to forget….we’re not SuperMom, we’re a human mom. We aren’t wired to do it all. And, more importantly, our kids don’t expect us to. They don’t care if we run a successful business or volunteer in the church nursery. All they want is a mom who is there for them and who loves them, no strings attached.

So how can we be a hero to our kids without having to wear a cape and imprint a big “S” on our chests?

o Just say Yes. When your kids ask you to play, instead of thinking of everything else you have to do, simply say, “OK!” Drop what you’re doing and play a game, read a book, go for a walk, shoot some hoops. Sure, this means you’ll have to just say no to plenty of other things. But by saying yes to your kids, you let them know they’re at the top of your priority list.

o Schedule Play Time. Of course there are other things to be done – like work, volunteering and other commitments. But no matter how full your calendar is, be sure to block out a big chunk of time every week to do something fun with the family. Go to the movies, go bowling, or spend the afternoon at the beach. The important thing is that you’re consistent in spending quality (and quantity) fun time with your kids.

o See Eye to Eye. Don’t ever become too busy that you can’t look at your child when he talks to you. Trying to maintain a conversation while typing on your laptop or scrubbing the toilet isn’t easy and your child will pick up on the fact that you’re not really “with him.” When your child has something to say, let him know you’re listening by giving him your full attention.

o Inclusion is everything. Instead of trying to do it all yourself, why not invite your kids to join you during regular tasks such as cooking dinner, dusting the furniture or grocery shopping? Your load will be lessened and some excellent quality time with your kids will be added.

o Pay Attention. Take a little time each day to get to the heart of your child. Whether it’s for ten minutes at bedtime or over breakfast in the morning, ask her about what’s going on in her life. Letting her know you’re there, no matter what, if she needs to talk is the key ingredient in keeping the lines of communication open.

Remember, your kids don’t care if your house is as clean as Martha Stewart’s, you cook as well as Rachel Ray or if you’re as successful as Oprah Winfrey. Being there for your kids and demonstrating your love for them regularly and consistently are the only things you need to do to be a hero in their eyes.

Visit WahmZone, the ultimate community Wahm Resource for all Work At Home Moms Learn how to make money at home as well.

Author: Lynn Powers
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

That is your enemy, and logic will lose out almost every time to it. A kid knows he might, just might, break open his skull from a poorly performed skateboarding trick. He also knows, however, that it’s much more likely that if he’s found sporting some big helmet when the other kids aren’t, he’s going to face day after day of teasing. To him, the choice is between whether to keep skateboarding (which he loves) without wearing a helmet, or to not skateboard at all (which would suck), but prevent him from having to become the class nerd (which would suck even more). Wearing a helmet is no longer an option, because to him, that end result is worse than either the risk of cracking open his head or being the new dork at school.

That’s why you have to change your approach. This can’t be a game of logic, but a game of wits will work quite well. First, offer you child something of good will. This puts you in the position of being the ‘good guy,’ in the event future arguments arise. Offering to buy your kid the coolest looking helmet possible may hurt your wallet just a bit, but if he actually finds one he genuinely likes, he’s countless times more likely to wear it. To be realistic, however, many older kids will probably tell you that no helmet looks cool, but hey, at least you tried. From this point, you have to build up the positives of wearing helmets (difficult), or build up the negatives of not wearing one (much, much easier). A kid that knows his skateboard will be confiscated, his allowance suspended, and his body grounded will be much more willing to compromise. In the end, even if he’s mad at you for grounding him, at least you won’t have to worry about that unfortunate call from the hospital any time soon.

Not all helmets are created equal, so you’ll want to be sure to find a cool helmet your kid will be OK with wearing. This is one item you don’t want to squeeze on, as a kid who perceives his helmet as dorky simply won’t wear it. Instead, pick up a trendy helmet that he’ll feel good in, and that you feel better about him wearing while engaging in risky activities.

Author: Brett Kasa
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Maybe. Maybe not.

There’s much to be said for continuing to be a stay at home mom even through the teen years, as I hope to do. Kids don’t need you in the same way when they’re teens as they did as babies and young children, but they do need you.

Being at home with them means that you have the chance to get to know all their friends. You get to know what they enjoy doing. You get to continue guiding them in their choices.

You can do all of that as a working mom, of course. It takes more effort, especially if your schedule isn’t cooperating, but it can be done. The stay at home mom merely has the simpler way to manage all of that.

Even so, there are a lot of factors to consider.

How Are You Feeling About Staying at Home Longer?

I’ve always said being a stay at home mom isn’t for everyone. Neither is being a long term stay at home mom. It’s a lot of work and despite how some feel, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do other things with your life as well.

A mom who is miserable staying at home may not be as good for her kids as one who is happy working outside the home. You don’t really want to be showing your kids that it’s okay for mom to be miserable in her lifestyle. I feel that you can still make your children a solid priority even if you aren’t a stay at home mom.

One of the wonderful things about kids getting older is that you can think about if you really need to be home all the time. When they’re in school, you certainly have the choice to do something other than wait for them to come home. It might be a hobby, it might be a part time job, it might be a business, it might be saying “wow, the house is quiet…” although you’ll probably get over that last one.

How Are the Finances?

Most families make a big financial sacrifice when a parent decides to stay at home. It’s not cheap. As the kids get older it might be time to rethink the finances and decide if the sacrifices are really worth it.

You still have the choices of a stay at home job or a home business, but if you’re doing one or both and not bringing in enough money, you may be considering something outside the home. Or you may be saying “I can finally get enough hours in now that the kids are in school!”

You should be paying attention to your finances even if you aren’t struggling, of course. You don’t need to be bringing in enough money to pay for huge family vacations every year, but you should be doing well enough that you don’t struggle with debt.

How Will the Kids Feel About You Returning to Work?

You’ll naturally be concerned about how your kids feel about you returning to work. They’ll often be a little concerned, especially if you’ve always been there for them.

Sometimes you’ll have to return to work even if the kids don’t like the idea. If your family needs the money to get by, that’s the most important part. If you’re going back to work more for your own satisfaction, you can talk to your kids about that. Be honest with them. Kids love having happy parents.

Some children have more need of their parents than others. If there are genuine problems that mean you need to stay home, that’s a big factor to consider. There are times that it is necessary to sacrifice your personal goals. That’s not going to be true for many families, but if there’s more of a need for you to be home, don’t forget about it even as the kids get older.

Don’t be at all surprised if your feelings about whether you should continue on as a stay at home mom becomes mixed as your kids get older. That’s normal. There’s so much of an expectation that moms will go back to work that it’s hard to go another path. But if continuing to stay at home is right for you and your family, do it and be proud. If going back to work is the right choice, do it and be proud.

Keep doing what’s best for yourself and your family as a whole, and it’s probably going to be the right decision.

Stephanie Foster runs http://www.homewiththekids.com/ as a resource for stay at home moms. Learn more about the financial traps for stay at home moms at her site.

Author: Stephanie Foster
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Tip 1) Create a point system

I just recently stumbled upon this idea and it has transformed my life; I almost feel like I’m cheating. Money does work wonders with my children but when you have three, it get’s expensive. Half the time they would loose their money or I wouldn’t have it to give (which only taught them how easily their mother goes into debt). The point system works this way: decide on mandatory chores (my children’s were things like cleaning their bedrooms and the kitchen after dinner). These are expected, and worth zero points. Then I add things that are extra, and give each item a point amount: folding clothes (three points), emptying trashes (two points), picking up the yard (four points). Decide on the extras based on your child’s age and abilities. Then their are the rewards, these are items they love, that they are willing to trade in their points for: playing on the computer (half an hour equals three points), video games (one hour equals four points), getting an ice cream (ten points). The key is, they are motivated and take the initiative because they are rewarded with things they love, and no money is involved. With this system we all win. I have less housework, less nagging and less complaining. That is truly summer FUN!

Tip 2) Start a Blog

This is prefect for all ages. I recently started a blog with my ten year old. It involves interviewing elderly ones and sharing their wisdom. She helps me interview them, design the blog (which most kid are excellent at), and then writes what she’s learned. These are all skills that I hope will benefit her in the future. But the main goal is to have FUN!. Google offers a great, easy to use blogging forum (Blogger.com). A slightly harder blogging site is WordPress.com. Your blog could include all your summer activities, photos, art work, trips and projects. This can be shared with your friends and family. If you are worried about privacy, Blogger.com allows you to control who can view your blog. This is a great way to connect with your children, and have a lasting online journal of your summer adventures.

Tip 3) Write Letters

Even though most of my mail contains bills, on a special day I will get a card or letter from a cherished friend or family member. No matter how bad my day is, this always makes it brighter. So with that in mind I decided to write letters with my children. You start by picking a time period: a week, a month, or all summer. Use your imagination and pretend you are separated. What would you want to tell your children? What special events would you want them to remember? What is something you have never told them before? These can be brief or lengthy depending on your children’s age and interest. If you hate writing you can even draw them pictures. The point is to use your imagination and have FUN! My four year old does not write so instead she tells me a story with drawings. She is amazingly talented at it, and gets quite creative. You can then exchange them or if you want to spend a little money you can send them in the mail. Your children will look forward to their special letter each day. These keepsake letters are a perfect way to remember your summer, and along with photos can be preserved in a scrapbook for years to come.

Aubrey Avila, the author of this article also writes a blog with her daughter called Forgotten Wisdom – http://theforgottenwisdom.blogspot.com/. Please share your knowledge at the bottom of the blog in the “Get Answers” section.

Author: Aubrey Avila
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

A few years ago I started writing letters to my children. My children are far to young to comprehend they way they make me feel. Sometimes when they look at me I feel so much joy and happiness. I never want to forget all the little moments or the little phases that they go through. Every year I write my children letters about what they are doing and all the wonderful ways they make me feel. I explain their personalities and what is going on in our lives at the time of the letter. My plan is to leave a booklet of letters to each of my children when I pass away. I know it may seem kind of dark but stop and think about it for a moment… Once I am gone, my children will be devastated. The thought that I can give them one more gift when I am gone leaves my heart feeling at ease. Imagine your child sad and hurting and they are left 10, 20, 40 years of letters! Letters full of happiness and joy, special moments and fun memories and great understanding that they were my heart and they gave me the most unconditional love and made my life worth living. Wouldn’t you love to get a gift of this magnitude?

So if you have kids you all know that memories can be attached to many things. I am about to share the most wonderful memory saving idea, EVER! I have been doing this for sometime now and I want to share it with all of you. When my kids are grown up and on their own I will be making a quilt.

What is the quilt going to be made of you ask???

Well, I have a tote for each of my children and when it is time to clean out their clothes I pick and choose the things that mean a lot to me. I have saved their coming home from the hospital outfits, favorite baby blankets, baseball T’s, birthday dresses, favorite play t-shirts, school shirts and a very special shirt my son made for me with his hand prints on it when he was 3:)

I plan on adding to these totes until my children graduate high school, by then my totes will be over flowing and I will have all the items made into one big quilt.

Can you imagine? Your kids move out to college (at least we hope that’s where they go) and we don’t ever get to see them that much. It is going to be so great to see all their little items on my quilt and be able to wrap myself in the little loving memories from over the years!

Just thought I would share a special thing that I am doing for my children in hopes that you would be inspired to do the same.

http://www.NewAgeMamas.com

Author
Staesha Wilson
Self Proclaimed Couponista
and Money Saving Mama!

Author: Staesha Wilson
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

The DJ’s voice shrilled….

The Top 5 Reasons to NOT Have Kids – Coming up after this commercial break.

“Oh, this should be classic” I thought to myself.

Reasons 5 through 2 were stupid.

Things like “having children has shown to increase the likelihood of you becoming an alcoholic”.

Even if that is scientifically valid, it’s still ridiculous.

Alcoholism is a disease and if having kids was the stressor that caused you to become chemically dependent, then the probability is high that in the absence of kids, something else would have served as your catalyst.

But ‘Reason #1′?

Oh, Reason #1!!

That got me chuckling (which eventually led to overt laughter and left both Brian and the kids wondering what the hell had gotten into me).

Reason #1 For NOT Having Kids?

“Because you lose your own life, identity and dreams”.

OK, let me just say that whoever the Moms were who participated in this study, they need a healthy dose of the “How Does She Do It Mom” blog on a daily basis.

But I digress…

So, 72% of Moms polled reported (without having to reveal who they were… i.e. they got to speak their minds without worrying about what people thought of them or their inner most feelings) that knowing what they know now…

… Seeing the death of their own dreams and goals…

They wished they had never had children.

Tragic.

But not because of the slapstick, generic or clich reasons you may be thinking.

Yes and of course… A Mom should love her children.

Yes and of course… A Mom should be happy with the fact she has kids.

Yes and of course… A Mom should understand and embrace the incredibly important role of ‘Mom’.

But the ‘tragedy’ is something very different in this case…

Being a Mom Doesn’t Mean Your Dreams HAVE TO DIE!!!

That is a choice.

It is an option (completely in your control).

And thus, the nature of why I broke into an uncontrollable laughing attack this morning.

The number of times over the past 12 months, my friends (and former friends), family (and former family) or passive readers of this blog have referred to me as…

Selfish

Self-Absorbed

Self-Centered

… Is absolutely staggering.

But 72% of Moms in this study wish (privately) that they didn’t have kids.

And all because they feel as though they can’t live out or pursue their dreams anymore.

Ya…. And I’m the crazy one.

Carrie Campbell, often referred to by her witty nickname “C2″, is pretty awesome.

Mom of 2, model, author, entrepreneur and all-around champ, C2 tells-it-like-it-should-be on her worldwide smash sensation blog, ‘How Does She Do It Mom’.

If you want information on how to be the best Mom you can be, then search Google for the word ‘cliche’….

But if you want understand the exact process of how to live the life you’ve always wanted, dream in color, break down barriers and open yourself up to every possibility and goal that’s been sitting dormant in your heart since the day you were born, then look no further:

http://HowDoesSheDoItMom.com

Author: Carrie L Campbell
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

The world is full of employed people who someday decide to become parents. All expectant parents approach their new life with their first little bundle of joy full of grand anticipation and excitement. Yet not all are completely prepared for the reality of adjusting to first time family life as working parents. Many new parents accept the fact that going back to work will prove to be quite a challenge but they believe it is definitely feasible – after all their co-workers have done it. Despite this positive mindset many moms develop clammy hands and cold feet when their unique situation finally arrives, especially when media portrays working moms in a poor light.

When it comes down to the wire, many new parents experience confusion, worry, concern and guilt when making a decision to return to work. Guilt thrives among working moms in our society for various reasons. We live in a culture that venerates perfection and when one feels they do not measure up to the latest facts and figures, it is easy to open the door to guilt. Studies gather and assimilate extremely useful data that helps guide much of what we do in all areas of life. Despite this, parents must be cautious about readily accepting studies that are released with warning notices and urgent recommendations of what to do or not do. It is not the studies per se that directly manifest guilt but often the way in which the results of a study are reported in the news and other forms of media that have the potential to perpetuate guilt.

So what is a parent to do? Acquiring a careful vigilance about everything you see and hear is important. There is always more to a story than you think and two sides to every coin. Parents should be forever cautious about assuming the newest trend is the way to go, or accepting the findings of a particular study as completely factual. Always consider the source of the article that is reporting the outcome which often impacts the manner in which the results are presented? If possible try to access the actual study and read it thoroughly to get a clear and full picture on which to base your thoughts.

The new study in the Journal of Epidemiology regarding the health and fitness of children of working mothers did show that the busy working schedules of employed parents can challenge their ability to prepare healthy food or promote physical activities for their kids. What some news reports failed to mention was that many of the children studied had unhealthy habits “regardless of whether or not their mothers worked” which maintains the importance of assisting all parents in establishing a healthy lifestyle for their children. This is just one example of why it is always prudent to read the rest of the story, especially the fine print. The reality is that parents CAN go back to work and still have healthy kids.

Hammer is the owner of The Progressive Parent, LLC, a certified parent coaching business. As a parent coach, Hammer helps first-time parents adjust to the most important and most difficult job of their lives. A licensed social worker and PCI (Parent Coaching Institute) Certified Parent Coach, she has more than twenty years of experience working with families. For additional information about coaching services or to sign up for a free weekly newsletter with parenting tips, visit http://www.theprogressiveparent.com

Author: Connie Hammer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

It is not only the lack of communication skills that has me worried and wondering, it is the result of that lack that is scary. If we cannot and do not communicate that can lead to isolation and loneliness – not a very bright picture for the future. We live in a global economy and need to be building a global community and that will mean that we need excellent communication skills to bring together the vast array of beliefs and customs of the world’s cultures.

Another, very important, loss could be that we do not uncover and encourage the individual gifts that each person brings to their life and the lives of others. What a loss that would be to humanity and to our children! Imagine living in a world of loneliness, isolation and where you did not feel you had anything to give!

What can you as a parent do to help your children grow in their communication skills? Hopefully you are already aware of and involved in what they are learning in school. If your child’s school is not demanding enough of children’s growth as communicators you and other parents can address that. There are also some things you can do at home to enhance your kid’s communication abilities. Use dinner time to engage the whole family in dialogue and deep conversation. Teach your kids to participate and to ask thoughtful questions. Help them learn to really listen and engage others in meaningful discussions. Include their friends in conversation when they are at your house and provide games and activities that will require them to talk with each other, to use their imaginations and to create things together. Help them improve their oral problem solving abilities with cool toys like legos and the like.

I would love to hear your take on this issue. Please leave a comment of observation – it would be fun to push this conversation forward.

Lynn Banis PhD, MCC is known as America’s High Performance Coach. She specializes in helping women. executives and entrepreneurs make the most of their opportunities and potential. Her years of working with small and large businesses has given her a depth of knowledge that is invaluable to her clients. You can reach her at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com or at her email address listed on the site. Also check out Lynn’s other businesses: Coach Academy Texas, a cutting edge coach training company; and Turnkey Coaching Solutions, a coaching program management and contract coach staffing company.

Lynn’ coaching membership site is at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com/blog2 Come check it out!

Author: Lynn Banis
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

I love my ten year old son (and his friends) dearly, but OMG is it hard to find time to work. During the summer I am expected to play games, haul kids to the pool, go to amusement parks and birthday parties, feed my son-and sometimes others- three meals a day, and other such tasks I don’t have to worry about during the school year. I try to explain to my son that I have work I have to do, but while I am working he proceeds to ask me about 50 questions… Are you done yet? When can we go to the pool? What are we having for lunch? How many more minutes now? I tried to suggest several activities for hime to do, but after about ten minutes he always came back with an “I’m bored!” After a few weeks a realized I can not go on like this. I had to think of some ways to amuse my son while I was getting some work done.

At my wits end, I decided that I was going to have my son help me work. He wasn’t goint to leave me with a seconds peace, so I started thinking of little ways he could be useful. I asked him to run mail out to the mailbox, put stamps and address labels on envelopes, shred paper, empty trash cans, staple packets, and other small tasks. Did you ever think maybe you should go through your stash of pens and throw away the bad ones, or organize your rubberbands and paper clips by size? These are good jobs to give your kids. To my suprise my son loves helping me and we get to spend time together. Also, because he helps me with these little things, I get done a little faster. That means we get to the fun quicker! I also find that my son has a better understanding of what I do.

You know, once school starts in the fall, I am going to miss my helper. Oh well…I guess I will have to make those trips to the mailbox myself.

To read more about my adventures as a WAHM, visit my blog

Author: Amy Jo Miller
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

It’s not easy being a super mom, it’s not easy raising kids in a society, and it is amazing how many people screw it up. We should be thankful that in the United States we have so many great mothers, who give of themselves, and sacrifice for their children, and often their children’s friends as well. It’s amazing how many mothers are often “the resident mother” of the neighborhood, when other mothers are busy working, or have a lack of interest in properly raising their own children.

Interestingly enough, every child is slightly different and it is not a one-size-fits-all when parenting our next generation. There is no manual on being a great mother, although there are hundreds if not thousands of books on the subject. But even if someone read all those books, it’s a lot different when you have to do it day in and day out, year after year knowing that if you make a mistake it could affect the child’s future in a very profound way.

We should salute the great mothers of our society and civilization, as they go out of their way to create the super citizens that will lead this great nation forward. I’d like you to take a moment to think about this, and consider how much we owe our moms.

Lance Winslow is a retired Founder of a Nationwide Franchise Chain, and now runs the Online Think Tank. Lance Winslow believes that mom need to watch the diets of their families;

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Note: All of Lance Winslow’s articles are written by him, not by Automated Software, any Computer Program, or Artificially Intelligent Software. None of his articles are outsourced, PLR Content or written by ghost writers. Lance Winslow believes those who use these strategies lack integrity and mislead the reader. Indeed, those who use such cheating tools, crutches, and tricks of the trade may even be breaking the law by misleading the consumer and misrepresenting themselves in online marketing, which he finds completely unacceptable.

Author: Lance Winslow
Article Source: EzineArticles.com